Saddam Hussein has appointed PR specialist
Max Bullshit to handle his return to public office.
Max, speaking from his London
offices, commented last night. "A lot
of people have forgotten very quickly all the
good work Saddam has done for the world and
the Iraqi people."
"His performance at
the 1980 Live Aid concert is one memory that
I don't have because I've just made it up."
"Are we really going to allow a few disgruntled citizens of Iraq to bring
down the inventor of Scrabble and the Phillips screwdriver."
Saddams
moustache captured by Tony
Tony
(Prime Minister)
Britain has taken Saddam Hussein's
moustache into custody. The moustache will be used by
Tony Blair and his wife Cherie during their annual cunnilingus
weekend.
The moustache was America's gift to the UK for all our support and lack
of huffiness when they killed our soldiers during the recent Gulf war.
"I'm chuffed to bits" said a smiling Tony Blair last night. "This
has made all the pain and suffering worth while."
Osama (52)
Hide
and seek update
Osama bin Hiding was last night crowned
world champion of Hide and go seek for the third year running.
The award for best new hider in a foreign country went
to relative new-comer to the sport, Saddam Hussein.
Mr bin Hiding, speaking from his hidey hole, commented, "I'd like
to thank the American people for introducing me to this sport, it may be
a bit risky but boy, what a buzz man."
Both men were unable to attend the award ceremony because of "family
commitments" but assured everybody that, "they'd be back."
10.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal. 09.
Sharp
as a sack of wet mice.
08. As sharp as a marble. 07. Wheels
spinning but the Hamsters gone. 06. Driveway doesn't quite reach the road. 05.
Forgetting to pay the brain bill. 04.
A few shades beyond blonde. 03.
Knitting with only one needle. 02.
A few gunmen short of a posse. 01. As sharp as a pound of wet liver.
Follow
the money with 
Yankee
imperialists hound modern day saint
09.
Sharp
as a sack of wet mice.
