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For Dawn Marie

In this little piece of da fookin big Internet, you will find my "comedic" musings on world events and lots of bits where I talk utter, utter pish.

It's no where near up to date, 'cause six months ago, I decided to leave the 'Evil Empire' and start my own business.

After 14 hours of hard graft, you don't feel particularly like sitting on a computer, trying to be a funny bastard.

So there you have it, the site will remain up as a monument to the days when I had time to think. I may start writing this tosh again, when I can afford to employ people to do my day job, who knows?

I love you all

The Fat Dancer

You're Welsh slur on popular quiz
The BBC has refused to apologise for the out spoken comments of the Weakest Link quiz show host, Anne Robinson. During filming of a recent episode of the popular teatime show, Miss Robinson accused a single mother of being Welsh. Alana Botswana from Rochdale was said to be in shock at the outburst from the TV quiz mistress.

A deeply disturbed Miss Botswana, near to tears commented, “I like a joke as much as the next person, but this time she went to far. I think there should be a law against saying things like that.

Miss Robinson has issued the following statement.
“Sometimes on a live quiz show things just come out. I never intended to call Miss Botswana Welsh; to this day I still can’t believe that I’ve said it. I know it’s a little to late now to apologise, but in a few years she will probably look back on this whole incident and have a bit of a giggle.

What I really meant to say was that she was a sponging maggot, who was unfit to breath the same air as the decent tax paying citizens of this wonderful Welsh free country.”

Geeza fag
Kids these days
The Government is said to be ready to rush through emergency legislation after it was revealed that one in eight shops are selling cigarettes to children.

Government spokesperson, Teresa Green was hopeful that the figure with a little gentle persuasion could be changed.
“These are shocking figures; these shops are deliberately depriving the treasury of income with every kiddie they turn away. Why don’t they put themselves in the kiddies shoes, after a hard day at school, all they want to do is unwind with 20 Bensons and a couple of bottles of Reef.”

“While we hope that this shocking situation can be resolved with out the need for legislation, I hope these morally correct retailers realise that this deprivation of much needed revenue will not be tolerated for too much longer.”
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10
. There's a disturbance in the Force.

09. My patent is pending.

08.
I have to study for a blood test.

07. I have to rotate my crops.

06. My goats broke a horn.

05. I don't date outside my species

04. My gerbil is getting married.

03
. My grandma is on fire.

02. I'm shaving my dog.
01. You're ugly, I'm busy, have a nice day.

-- Stolen


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